At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail. When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. The family must decide these things. Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect and irresponsibility towards the family, it is well to let him go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics. Those of us who travel drop in as often as we can. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. We want to stay out of this controversy. 1,618 ratings63 reviews. Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially. Big Book History and Myths, Arthur S. Page 4 The major changes to the Big Book editions have been in the selection of personal stories so that they represent a good cross-section of the AA membership. The Big Book doesn't come with an index, so here is one in the form of a bookmark. We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again. Usually the family should not try to tell your story. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time! Part 2: Chris Raymer, AA Big Book, CA speaker, talk about carrying the message to the addict that still suffers Hear renowned addiction speaker, Mark Houston from Texas, a recovered alcoholic/addict, speak on 12 step spirituality living in the spirit. Will he take every necessary step, submit to anything to get well, to stop drinking forever? If we are sure our wife does not know, should we tell her? Our homes have been battle-grounds many an evening. After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits. Its strong language-but isnt it true? So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem. Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I discovered many more reasons later on. He had stepped from bridge to shore. It may convince your husband he wants to stop drinking forever. When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in Gods hands were better than anything we could have planned. The family of an alcoholic longs for the return of happiness and security. Circumstances made him willing to believe. I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. The first 164 pages in plain text format. Mathematically, if the word God were distributed evenly throughout the book it would appear every 1.2 pages. Suppose now that through you several families have adopted this way of life. Little or nothing, we saw at last. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. And with us, to drink is to die. Copyright 2005-2013 by Recovery Press. Is it not because each wants to play the lead? He knows that they are real. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We suggested he write his first wife admitting his faults and asking forgiveness. He thought all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue. And then, with a better motive, had we not worshipfully beheld the sunset, the sea, or a flower? While drinking, he accepted a sum of money from a bitterly-hated business rival, giving him no receipt for it. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered. (Bill wrote on the very last page of the first 164 pages: We realize we know only a little). But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time. Lets now go back to husband number one. Simply click on a word and all references in the . They often jeopardize their own positions by trying to help serious drinkers who should have been fired long ago, or else given an opportunity to get well. Seeing much of each other, scarce an evening passed that someones home did not shelter a little gathering of men and women, happy in their release, and constantly thinking how they might present their discovery to some newcomer. To learn about how our 12-step friendly treatment program can support your recovery, please contact BoardPrep Recovery Center today at 866.796.4720. 23. there exists strong sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. It does not contain the clear-cut directions! We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees. OUR WOMEN FOLK have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering. I went to town regularly and even made a little money. Yet in ancient times material progress was painfully slow. Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics. Unlike the feelings of the ships passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. The following is a list ofapproximately 150 promises that I compiled from the first edition of the Big Book. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. At the end of it, my reports to Wall Street procured me a position there and the use of a large expense account. Where Can I Search the Big Book? It is not by chance we were given the power to reason, to examine the evidence of our senses, and to draw conclusions. Meanwhile you might try to help the wife of another serious drinker. We are average Americans. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. We want the wives of Alcoholics Anonymous to address the wives of men who drink too much. At this point, it might be well to explain alcoholism, the illness. I've heard from many newcomers and in several chat rooms where people say their sponsors told them to only read the 1st 164 pages. Nevertheless, the twentieth century readily accepts theories of all kinds, provided they are firmly grounded in fact. When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. Then a mental fog settled down. Business and professional men have regained their standing. BIG BOOK INDEX FIRST 164 PAGES 4 SUBJECT PAGE(S) PARAGRAPH(S) Step 9 76 Through 84 3 Ending in 1 Step 10 84 Through 85 2 & 2 Step 11 85 Through 88 3 Step 12 89 (Chapter 7) Trust In God 68 2 Unpaid Debts 78 2 When In Doubt 164 1, 2 & 3 I've been to many meetings where it is said that we only read the 1st 164 pages. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries. Their chances are less than average. Liquor caught up with me much faster than I came up behind Walter. Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition. Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. He too, has become a respected and useful member of his community. Can he talk frankly with you so long as he does not bear business tales or criticize his associates? Oddly enough, he is often difficult to deal with. On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. Positions were always in jeopardy or gone. Aside from fellowship and sociability, the prime object was to provide a time and place where new people might bring their problems. An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature. When sober, does he not work hard and have a knack of getting things done? They have solved the drink problem. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. The alcoholics past thus becomes the principal asset of the family and frequently it is almost the only one! On your employees return, talk with him. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks. They shared their homes, their slender resources, and gladly devoted their spare hours to fellow-sufferers. After your man has gone along without drinking for a few months, you may be able to make use of his services with other employees who are giving you the alcoholic run- around-provided, of course, they are willing to have a third party in the picture. His change of heart was dramatic, convincing, and moving. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. Many of us needed an overhauling there. My drinking assumed more serious proportions, continuing all day and almost every night. Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. There could be no love in such persons, we thought. You should point out that his defects of character are not going to disappear over night. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. There is, however a vast amount of fun about it all. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. The alarming physical and mental symptoms, the deepening pall of remorse, depression and inferiority that settled down on our loved ones-these things terrified and distracted us. I forgot the strong warnings and the prejudices of my people concerning drink. I can find "alcoholic" on the web site, but not in the book. We feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves. Doctors may shake their heads and advise you to have him committed. We might prejudice them. Here we find human opinions running to extremes-absurd extremes, perhaps. Four: You may have a husband of whom you completely despair. We do not mean that you have to agree with your husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion. . We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. Available in black or burgundy leather. It is important that he be able to keep a confidence; that he fully understand and approve what we are driving at; that he will not try to change our plan. Perhaps the best way of treating you to a glimpse of your future will be to describe the growth of the fellowship among us. Many a distracted wife has visited this house to find loving and understanding companionship among women who knew her problem, to hear from the lips of their husbands what had happened to them, to be advised how her own wayward mate might be hospitalized and approached when next he stumbled. That war-time day in old Winchester Cathedral came back again. At some of these we balked. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured. How ridiculous would it be if people tried to do the same with the Big Book. Whether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. He subsequently denied having received the money and used the incident as a basis for discrediting the man. Our fears fall from us. The author is a founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Bill W. & Dr. Bob. Big Book It displays the text of the first 164 pages of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous." The first 164 pages Though there is no true references to the word sponsorship with in the first 164 page of the AA Big Book "Alcoholics Anonymous" it is mentioned in several of the . Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken it. We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We must not shrink at anything. How is that to come about? you ask. It is open, we believe, to all men. Surely this was the answer-self-knowledge. Many of us have heard of the Ninth Step Promises from page 83-84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Much moved, I wandered outside. But all problems will not be solved at once. We may lose our position or reputation or face jail, but we are willing. Who wouldnt be, with such a fevered brain? Our moments of triumph were short-lived. The story of how you and your wife settled your difficulties is worth any amount of criticism. This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. Seeing your attempt to understand and help, some men will try to take advantage of your kindness. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Usually we did not leave. You will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed. You fellows are somebody. Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations. He refused it. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound, but he did not distinguish between such people and the alcoholic. Were nothing left but pure reason, it wouldnt be life. At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. We alcoholics are sensitive people. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Here was something at work in a human heart which had done the impossible. Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. The last few chapters of those pages, however, do become a bit more tedious to read (I think) because they have a certain datedness about them. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected. As non-denominational people, we cannot make up others minds for them. To him the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first magnitude. He may rebel at the thought of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion with other people. The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live. You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character. Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker. Had we not variously worshipped people, sentiment, things, money, and ourselves? But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God. We think it no concern of ours what religious bodies our members identify themselves with as individuals. To you, some of the ideas which it contains are novel. On leaving the asylum he came into contact with us. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Take the Big Book wherever you go! 1. He becomes a religious enthusiast. Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me. In another case, an alcoholic was sent to a hospital for treatment. Let us make haste to reassure you. For the 11 point font, Holidays in Ocean Alley is 36,200 words including the front matter and list of my other books at the back. I was to share generously in the profits. Im ready to do business. And we, who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us. We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the illustration would fit us exactly. Should I kill myself? So many want to stop but cannot. In the chapter Working With Others you gathered an idea of how we approach and aid others to health. You can easily see why. And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend. We agnostically inclined would not feel satisfied with a proposal which does not lend itself to reasonable approach and interpretation. But in most fields our generation has witnessed complete liberation of our thinking. We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. Welcome to silkworth.net. Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march on. If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. For example, the word "surrender" does not occur in the A.A. literature covered by 164 and More. To the outer world he presents his stage character. Because of resentment and drinking, he had not paid alimony to his first wife. Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once. What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters? It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. First, there were many. The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. Almost none of us liked the self- searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. We, who have traveled this dubious path, beg you to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion. You can use any of our indexes with either edition. The publication of this book has not been authorized or endorsed by, and does not imply affilia-tion with Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. or the General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their families and communities. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide these calamities in his immediate family embittered and depressed him. We did exactly the same thing with our lives. This practice enables us to lend a hand, at the same time avoiding certain alluring distractions of the road, about which any traveling man can inform you. Print a copy of the first side (print page 1 only), then reinsert it into the paper tray of your printer and print page 2. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he cant feel the ache. To return to the subject matter of this book: It contains full suggestions by which the employee may solve his problem. Words contained within the first 164 pages of the Big Book. In this book you read again and again that faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. But it isnt so difficult. They can hardly fail to approve these simple principles, though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing them. She may insist on knowing all the particulars. Beginning with such complaints, a barrier arises. Go along with your husband if you possibly can. He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. We hope the doctor will tell the patient the truth about his condition, whatever that happens to be. We find that most of this embarrassment is unnecessary. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. His alcoholic problem was taken away. The wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea,mvoicing it without reservation. Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally. The right answer will come, if we want it. Would I have it? The 164 and More web site. Post by Brock Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:31 pm Franky wrote: I would also work the Step as my Sponsee worked the Step. 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