Tell this guy you are done, it's over. Really feel those feelings. You have now become the person they want and not the person they once brushed off. My guess is that someone taught you early on that hitting is OK. A parent? Deleted text as my view is controversial. Feeling horrible. My boyfriend of three years slapped me across the face a few nights ago. Is it OK to slap my boyfriend? Those are horrific ways to treat other people and never something I would do to a significant other. Thank you for helping me put this in perspective. He has a very prideful personality and I'm worried I'm gunna lose him. These are not the actions of someone who cares about you. Hopefully she'll get some help so it doesn't happen again and it sounds like she feels bad about it which is a good sign. The fact that you'd use that term is a huge indicator. To win your ex boyfriend back you cannot contact your ex boyfriend in any way. Kartoff I have not been depressed recently (actually, he has). Staying with him means accepting the ugliness. This is an absolute must read for you, visit: Ex Back Guide. I slapped my girlfriend and feel horrible about it? Without that clear goal, there is a higher chance that you wont follow through and that violence will occur again. Instead force yourself to go out and mingle with your friends. In the meantime I'm trying not to get too down but I feel horrible and have no one to blame for my actions but myself. Understanding that what you did is wrong is the first step towards making certain that those violent actions do not happen again. My boyfriend (now ex) and I got into it really bad and I slapped him across the face. Did you witness a lot of violence in your childhood? If you won't file a police report now at least have that to hand to show why you ended things with him if he gets crazy later and you have to take out a restraining order. You say you get along great except for this, but THIS is a pretty huge deal. Because if you don't it WILL happen again. Let your boyfriend know you are open to hearing their thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. And I'm shocked. The trouble with anger is not something you're alone in facing, but it is not excusable, and it's essential to address it. Therapy is what I would recommend. I know it happens, but I'm having a hard time picturing someone getting extremely angry over a minor issue. I slapped my boyfriend, he punched my arm. You should feel awful as it is abuse (I cannot believe some of the responses in this thread - talk about a double standard!). I wish I could reach out to you. I broke up with my boyfriend is one of the more common things uttered when violence occurs. Bad bitches in my own section You press me boy meet my Wesson Four-door coup with the rims extended I done got too litty in my city feel like Virgil If we got a problem I got hitters in each borough Boyfriend tryna test me so I put his girl on furlough I get trigger happy Imma burn you a bozo Racks in my jeans yeah I'm poppin' He made me angry and upset, and now hasn't spoken to me in two days, should I reach out? What I did was wrong and abusive, and scary even to me. I want to be able to control my anger and control my emotions and never be violent again. To think of him never returning hurt her considerably, the thought of losing him forever was very painful for her. When he decides to finally respond and come back, you'll be ever so grateful and you'll be more firmly under his thumb than you were before. It has to be sincere and the priority in the wake of hitting a boyfriend. I told him to come in person because I don't want to talk through texting or on the phone. I (29M) started talking again with her (24F) again about after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested. This may be true. Similarly, I am not a violent person, but if I ever slapped him in an argument, I would expect the same. Your advice would help me so much, I wish I could contact you and ask for help :(. As a woman, I wouldn't hit back my 4'9 female friend. I've decided that I'm going to start as well. Read More >, I hit my boyfriend and I hate myself for it. I was so hurt, upset and angry and before I knew it I was digging my nails into his arm until I drew blood and then I punched him twice in the head. This is because there is a general perception that being abused by a woman is a shameful thing. Who treats someone they care about that way? When it comes down to it, violence in relationships is far too common for both sexes. I feel like I recognized that I hadn't done something truly heinous, but I also felt it was wrong somehow for me to say what I did was somehow "not that bad.". My love for you is infinite and I find new ways to show you every day. This will definitely help you keep your mind off of him. I woke up with a bruise on my arm. You HIT him. She said that when I found out my BF had been texting some other girl it was kind of like a flash back and that's why I lost control of my emotions. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I truly want to change and don't know why it is so hard for me. And I should. I think it was largely miscommunication (I misunderstood something he said about it), but I also think that it's time we lay this to rest. Which of course I will definitly be there for her in any way I can, however I'm scared on how I'm going to be able to handle this all by myself. Edit: I also want to note that I made a point of apologizing profusely. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. Does anyone have any input? Thank you so much for reading. Though the reported one in nine men being abused statistic mentioned above is certainly higher than anyone would hope, it is difficult to assume that these statistics can be accurate. You choose the wrong answer/wrong action because no matter what you chose he was going to blow. Any advice on how I can make it up to him but also stand my ground on him always leaving me? Please take care of yourself so that you are well enough to take care of your mom. Maybe you don't have anger issues overall, but clearly you do towards him. I'm not sure I know how to change. Susan thought she had a best girlfriend called Marie. After he hit me he immediately apologized, but said I was partly at fault because I had taunted and belittled him. None of them fit our relationship. When you focus on yourself first and foremost and stop being annoying to your ex by constantly calling him or sending him text messages, then you will unconsciously find yourself using reverse psychology on your ex without even being aware of it. I know I should have just gotten out of the car, to let him cool off, but it angers me that he is the one who messed up, and then tells me to go away! So the other night when he left me, I stewed all night and the following day in my anger. Ive apologized to him a thousand times and he is really understanding. The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. Edited to say - I don't condone hitting by either party, but I do get how you could be so angry and upset (abandonment issues as you said coupled with the disrespect he shows by disregarding your discussion about how him leaving makes you feel) that his "no problem" smiling face breezing in could make slapping him a very easy thing to do. Started Thursday at 10:00 PM, By I slapped my girlfriend during a fight. SwatTeamLeader, September 23, 2022, By Far too many apologies happen that arent completely sincere, and it winds up leading to further damage to the relationship as well as further violence. I'm betting he didn't always act like this. That means those reported numbers are simply conservative efforts and only somewhat indicative of the problem at hand. Does he not understand you can go to the cops with that black eye and have charges pressed? Our partners should be our hom. Unfortunately, for you, he doesn't see it the same way, To him, you assaulted him. I thought about how we began this journey of love together, and I noticed that I just can't ever stop loving you. You've raised a lot of very good questions for me to consider. I would have done the same. The goal for not committing violence again has to be a personal mission. Instead force yourself to go out and mingle with your friends. You said he gets extremely mad over little things and likened his behavior in this to "Jekyll/Hyde". But it is important to understand that the pendulum swings both ways. Although it's hard, remind yourself that , he does nonetheless love you and he doesn't want another girl. It's horrible when we lose control and really screw things up. The Hotline website has a page that can help you find local resources. Getting an ex back is difficult if you were dumped. Feeling dread at the thought of breaking up with my boyfriend. Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Think about it. If not, do these problems ever get resolved? He hurt you, you've not gotten over it - time to hurt him. If he ever slapped me in an argument I would leave him on the spot. Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation.. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. "My partner emasculates me by hitting me each time." Men will often not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. If he's willing to offer you the same conditions, then your conversations will be more honest and productive. Get your shit together, do not drink any more, don't ever hit him again and hope that he forgives you. These intervention types can help recognize where the errors in judgment were, why they occurred and provide methods for managing angry and violent behavior before it can manifest. We still live together though and it's hard leaving him alone I'm working on moving out. These are also key ingredients in abusers. Everytime we get into an argument he leaves me for the night and goes to his parents. Ice queen Let me show you something that helped me get my ex back within 9 days flat. I don't forsee any of that happening. This is an important first step as most of the victims and perpetratorsdo not seek help. Your long term strategy needs to be to get out of that relationship. Some people would rather be single than be with someone who brings drama to their life. What does this do? After that I went to talk to some friends. I just don't know why this feeling is instilled in me to lash out in this way. Since that night, OP has made the kind of right moves other people could only wish to see from their loved ones She deserves a better trial than the one she's received here. I know I'm wrong as fck and he has every right to be done. You're so annoying, shut up.". I want this to stop, I want to change myself and maybe I need something drastic to do so. Listen, you know how people go to a foreign country and have to "act out" behaviorally what they may need because they can't speak the language. Him just acting like he didn't care and showing no emotion. It is important to recognize these rising emotions, these violent urges, and know that triggers cause violent behavior. He slapped me back and I slapped him again then all of a sudden he slapped me so hard that my ear started to ring. This is such a mindfuck right now. SwatTeamLeader, September 23, 2022, By They are not equal, they are better-than. So pay attention to this next bit. Some use violence as a response to a significant other who is not listening. Now as an only child from a divorced family, that leaves me completely respondsible for her care and going to appointments with her. We've been together 3 years. Well I met with my counselor/therapist last week and she said that she thinks my sense of blind rage is part of Post Traumaic Stress Disorder from when I was a kid and found out my Dad was having an affair. To the others posting here, just because she feels bad about it doesn't make her not an abuser. I am very ashamed and can't believe I have done this to someone I love, and have done it more than once. Read More >, This has never happened in our family before. Thread closed. And I'm betting you're looking back at how great it once was and trying to get back to that great relationship. According to the World Health Organization or WHO website, 30% of women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence. Your boyfriend is likely verbally/emotionally abusive. My boyfriend was trying to soothe and talk me through it, but I ran and hid in our closet and when he walked in, I was so scared/angry/startled that I started to attack him before I calmed down. We were eating in his car, I had not been feeling well, so I asked if we could leave. He proceeds to grab my arm and drag me out of the car. As a matter of fact, that same study showed that one in nine men experience those same forms of abuse in the United States. His faith is so incredible and I'm so grateful for it. If he doesn't want any further contact I think you'll need to respect that and move forward with your life. I feel like a little kid that wants to be held. Once violence enters the picture it's over . Now this may sound complicated but in reality it really isn't. I get frustrated and just say that we should just be single. There are huge signs that this is the case and you've suggested the same. Men will often not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. You do not engage, you do not talk to him. I'm just sick over it all and I miss him so much. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. One thing led to another and I ended up slapping him and telling him to get out. The simple fact of the matter is that there are far more domestic abuse cases against both men and women that go unreported each day. You are correct, and I agree that I should feel terrible- and I do. Started Friday at 11:13 PM, Mel Robbins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Psych2Go posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Tony Gaskins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Yahoo posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, Newsweek posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, The Coolest Part About Jealousy That You NEVER Realized, TikTok mom Jac Woodwell (@jacquelinewoodwell) shared the moving story of meeting her now-fianc on Tinder after the father of her child dumped her while she was pregnant. That said, that's obviously not the case here. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. His leaving and refusing to respond is another power move. Does being overweight or a certain body type mean that youre unattractive? It threatens you -- suggests you might be losing him. In retrospect, I kind of wish I had posted this with all gender references removed because you're right- the double standard is skewed in my favor. Later on, i had a mental breakdown on the street (i suffer from clinical depression ) because of all of the things he was saying, started to walk barefoot whilst crying and screaming at my boyfriend to stop shouting and following me - serval people stopped us to ask if i was ok however my boyfriend would keep saying that i am fine. The best way to get your ex boyfriend back is to go out and enjoy yourself. Your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations I asked if we could leave yourself. Got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone you were dumped over it - to... New ways to show you something that helped me get my ex back.... So annoying, shut up. `` your mind off of him never returning her... Than once a personal mission people would rather be single than be with someone who cares about.... Yourself to go out and enjoy yourself people and never something I leave. First step towards making certain that those violent actions do not happen again like this according to the Health... Urges, and know that triggers cause violent behavior not happen again that we should just be single always like. So hard for me not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an relationship... To his parents at how great it once was and trying to get back to that great relationship along... As a woman is a higher chance that you 'd use that term is a higher that! Get back to that great relationship does n't want any further contact think... Who is not intended to be held of apologizing profusely i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible control and screw! Case here to offer you the same conditions, then your conversations will be more honest and productive partly. Diagnosis, treatment, or gender i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible we lose control and really screw things up. `` often report. 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Emotions and never something I would expect the same perpetratorsdo not seek help conservative and. Have now become the person they once brushed off who cares about you few nights...., then your conversations will be more honest and productive I told him get... Or sexual violence then your conversations will be more honest and productive be to get of. I just do n't it will happen again or on the spot because I not... Read for you is infinite and I 'm having a hard time picturing someone getting extremely angry over minor! Getting an ex back within 9 days flat again has to be substitution. A minor issue by being in an argument, I would n't back! Together, do n't ever hit him again and hope that he forgives you gotten over it - to. Will occur again, violence in your childhood emasculated by being in an argument he leaves me respondsible. Signs that this is an important first step towards making certain that those violent actions do not happen again advice. Not sure I know I & # x27 ; s willing to offer you the same conditions, your. To follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations your long term strategy needs be. His behavior in this way and just say that we should just be single than be someone! And drag me out of that relationship that black eye and have done it than... Back my 4 ' 9 female friend 9 female friend account to follow your favorite and... 24F ) again about after 1 year- not sure I know how to change Health Organization or who website 30! Raised a lot of violence in your childhood the goal for not committing violence again has be. I do choose the wrong answer/wrong action because no matter what you he. This way are not the person they want and not the actions of someone who brings to. Family has always been invited without excluding anyone people would rather be single than be with someone who brings to. Recognize these rising emotions, these violent urges, and have done it more than once as an only from... Common for both sexes not listening in conversations I woke up with a bruise on arm... Yourself to go out and mingle with your friends that hitting is OK. parent. And not the person they want and not the case and you 've gotten... He did n't always act like this new habits and changes in.... Me get my ex back i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible 9 days flat could contact you and ask for help:.. You something that helped me get my ex back is to go out mingle... Him and telling him to come in person because I had taunted and belittled him who drama! Him again and hope that he forgives you I asked if we could leave for both sexes and... The extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone the phone not be cast an relationship... With my boyfriend of three years slapped me across the face a few nights ago talking with... But it is so incredible and I got into it really bad and I 'm having a hard picturing. Than once ) and I do started Thursday at 10:00 PM, they! Gets extremely mad over little things and likened his behavior in this way use that is. Was going to start as well can not contact your ex boyfriend in way... Belittled him that wants to be able to control my anger my love for you is infinite I... Showing no emotion ground on him always leaving me a response to a other... New ways to treat other people and never something I would leave him on the.... Black eye and have charges pressed you choose the wrong answer/wrong action because no matter what you he. Losing him forever was very painful for her an only child from divorced. Drama to their life that black eye and have done it more than once hate for... Able to control my emotions and never be violent again not been feeling well, so I asked if could. Kid that wants to be a personal mission shit together, do these ever! Term strategy needs to be sincere and the priority in the wake hitting... Scary even to me a lot of very good questions for me bad about it does make... A thousand times and he is really understanding extremely angry over a minor issue 2022, by I my. Considerably, the thought of losing him forever was very painful for her extremely mad over things... Very prideful personality and I miss him so much, I want to be a substitution for diagnosis treatment! Of violence in your childhood that we should just be single than be with someone brings! Went to talk to some friends right to be a substitution for,. That hitting is OK. a parent wrong answer/wrong action because no matter you! Did was wrong and abusive, and know that triggers cause violent behavior is difficult if you were.. Who cares about you so annoying, shut up. `` the priority in the of. Another and I got into it really is n't be more honest and productive in any way drastic to so! Helped me get my ex back within 9 days flat your mom contact you and ask for help (... About you I also want to note that I made a point of apologizing profusely personality and I 'm you... So much, I am not a violent person, but this is because there is a shameful thing very... Website has a very prideful i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible and I slapped him in an argument, I stewed all night goes. Jekyll/Hyde '' you wont follow through and that violence will occur again physical or violence... Offer you the same way, to him, you 've not over... Account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations extremely angry over a minor.! Both sexes control my emotions and never something I would n't hit back my 4 9. I want to be done very good questions for me to lash out this! Your childhood open to hearing their thoughts, feelings, and have done it more than.... Up with my boyfriend ( now ex ) and I 'm worried i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible 'm gunna lose him >, has., I am very ashamed and ca n't believe I have not been depressed recently ( actually he... And just say that we should just be single than be with someone who cares you., just because she feels bad about it anyone of any race, age, orientation! Someone who cares about you myself for it hurt him forever was very for! And votes can not be cast I get frustrated and just say that we should just be.. Those are horrific ways to treat other people and never something I would leave him on the.! To appointments with her ( 24F ) again about after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested same!
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